Mass Bike, Pie Race, 8-26, Lori Whynot
Teammate and Club President, Tami once again threw down the gauntlet, but she unfortunately fell short on her skill of throwing back pie.
I meant to write this report last weekend, but it conflicted with my move to San Diego. Now that I’m here and getting settled (come visit me!), it’s time to rub pie in the face of my competitors. Actually, I’m too kind to do that, but I’ll fill you in on the the way the day went.
As the women’s pie race champion from last year, the pressure was on to maintain my title. However there were several things working against me:
1) My lack of training and racing, and even riding more than 3 or 4 days per week for the previous 2 months.
2) My pending move to San Diego (which I deliberately postponed to the day after PIE day-seriously people… I like pie) and my final two weeks of intense lifting, packing, moving, schlepping, and fitful nights of poor sleep.
3) Tami’s undying love of pie, her cycling prowess/strength, and the tenacity to overturn this champion.
4) Another feared rival, Michelle Smith, and her very close 2nd place finish to me last year.
The day started with more schlepping of moving boxes to my storage unit at 7:30 AM (thanks to Karena for her help on that, BTW). Needless to say, my body was wrecked from days of lifting. Although I planned my departure day to allow me the chance to defend my 2005 National Pie Race title, I harbored serious doubts of my ability to prevail. As the day approached, I felt increasingly less confident and was, frankly, content with the simple idea of eating some good pie- to hell with the race. But I had to show up and decided not to go down without a fight.
I equipped my bike with Time Trial aero bars, donned my aerodynamic TT helmet- complete with pie splatter face shield, my cyclocross shoes, and skinsuit (needing all the help I could get) and took a ride around the course. It wasn’t particularly confidence-building when I got lost on the course during my warm up.
Tami showed up and was pumped and ready to go. I could tell by the tremor in her hands that she was here for business and was fully intent on taking me down. I relinquished myself to this idea as real possibility for a few moments. Michelle Smith and her husband showed up and were all geared up in their time trial equipment. Her husband was a second place finisher to Giovanni in the Men’s division of the Pie Race last year. Gio and I had our work cut out for us. But once on my bike, I kept reminding myself that I am a pretty skilled time trialist, can maneuver ‘cross dismounts and remounts pretty well, and indeed, like all of the Whynot family- can eat really fast.
I was staged to start 4th, and after Geoff Martin’s professional time trial holding start, I was off and pushing the pedals hard and fast to the first pie stop. These first two miles that started with a small uphill got my blood pumping and my lungs working overtime. Although I felt horrible, I passed a racer in front of me before Pie Stop #1 and was pleased with my speed.
Upon arrival, I was dismayed to see NO BLUEBERRY PIE!? drat. So I scooped up a gooey fistful of peach crumble topped and shoved it in my mouth. For a moment I choked on the crumbles, but like a pro, I cleared my throat, made more room and swallowed. Quickly saying the written phrase that would let me get on the road again, I ran and hopped onto the bike and pushed my heart rate back up to threshold again within moments. I put my head down and pedalled upwards to 35 mph on a slight downhill on the road. Soon I passed another rider who had started one minute in front of me.
Pie Stop #2 came as a surprise and I nearly passed it but swung around and back to it. Unfortunately, my dismount was sloppy and I threw my bike into the grassy knoll on which the next pie table and choices were spread. WHAT?!? again NO BLUEBERRY PIE here?? So I wheezed back a sticky blob of apple crumble topped and then got back to my bike for a running remount. To my chagrin, my chain had fallen off when I threw my bike into the grass. My right hand was covered in pie goo, so shifting was not so easy. I had to get off the bike and futz with the chain by hand.
Time was ticking and I knew I had passed riders in front of me, and nobody was bearing down on me yet. I struggled with the chain as it had gotten stuck between the frame and the chainring, then it flipped up and over the pedal. This took at 30 seconds of time and I was really starting to panic. Finally getting the chain on with my sticky pie hand, I jumped back on the bike and hammered as hard as I could the last 2 miles, nearly barfing up peach and apple compote and sugary topping along the way.
However, I managed to keep everything down, and pushed through the pain of my not-so-fit legs, wiping chain and pie goo off my sticky fingers and onto my skinsuit, and my face.
I soon approached the finish and got as low as I could on the aero bars on my bike, pushing the pedals a constant high speed to the final destination- WOULD THERE BE ANY BLUEBERRY PIE THERE?? Would I be able to not barf in front of everyone? These were the important questions.
I took the final turn into the Verrill Farm road and barrelled my way toward Geoff Martin, who crouched oh-so-professionally looking ready to catch my bike as I jumped off of it at speed- cyclocross style. I almost flipped the bike over myself as I dismounted (going a bit too fast here) but Geoff caught the bike and I ran to the final pie table. Here some friends and the crowd were waiting and chanting, and the race officials stood watching me take my third and final piece of pie. I scanned the table quickly for the soothing color of deep mushy blue, but only found dark red. (Dammit) I scooped up the cherry pie (again with that dangerous crumble-top) with my my chain grease- laden hand, and jammed most of the slice into my pie-hole. There was a moment of horror as my stomach flipped once and I lurched but caught my gag reflex. Chew, chew, breathe, chew, chew breathe. Then I pushed the remains of the greasy, sticky pie into my mouth, swallowed enough to be able to say the final phrase, ” Can I Please Have More Pie?” before the official snagged my finish time on the timing clock.
Tami had started 2 minutes after me, and arrived at the finish maybe a bit more than 2 minutes after me, but I was on a sugar high and unable to know how much time had passed. And Michelle hadn’t yet finished, so I was very very nervous. I was starting to need some alka-seltzer.
Tami was not looking so great at the finish. I wasn’t sure if I was in danger losing my title or not, especially having lost 30 seconds trying to get my chain back on at Pie Stop #2. I was feeling a little doomed, and also feeling a little sick to my stomach. Then my compassion kicked in and a started to worry about how Tami looked as she choked back her third piece of pie. I shouted out supportive words like, “EAT IT!!”, then, “It’s OK…Take your Time!!”
Michelle Smith soon arrived, looking quite fast but a little too neat. Where was all the pie goo on HER skinsuit!?!? She did impressively eat her third piece of pie, but I think she could have been a bit more aggressive. But, she didn’t gag like Tami or I did. That’s finesse.
Within a short while, as all of us in the crowd cheered each finishing pie racer, it became evident that I had once again won the Pie Race Championship. With a PR time of 19:55 I bettered my time by 16 seconds (despite losing all that time with my chain fiasco!), and beat my two competetors by a larger margin than last year. Michelle ended up a close second place and Tami came in 3rd in the women’s division. We are still awaiting the Men’s division race report.
I’m not sure if it was the sugar high, or the fact that I had prevailed against so many odds, but I went home to my very empty apartment with a fat, sticky grin on my face.
Oh, and just because I moved to San Diego, doesn’t mean I won’t be back East to uphold my National Pie Race Championship Title next year. You will see me on the roads there again.
On a more serious note, I want to thank Karin Turer for all of her hard work on this event and Mass Bike for putting on a great day of cycling- all for the good of bike advocacy. Although Karin’s husband was in the hospital with some strange nerve/muscular problem these past several days, she showed up at the pie race and pulled off a stellar job as MC. What a dedicated trooper!
Karin, I hope Nick gets better and know that my thoughts are with you both as you figure out what is going on with his back/legs. Keep us posted.
Hugs from sunny southern Cali…
-Lori (Whynot)